Guilty...

Today, we the jury found the defendant guilty on two different counts. It was, among other things, a fascinating process. and a beauty-full one, too. I don't know if this is normal or not as I've never served on jury duty before, but every single juror wanted to make sure that we were really considering the defendant innocent until proven guilty and not vice versa...
Even though the guy was acting inappropriately in the court room, was arrogant and disrespectful...that he still got a fair trial.  And the other thing I really appreciated was the respect-full manner in which we approached one another...making sure NOT to strong-arm anyone into anything that was not congruent with their own sense of integrity. Really, if I step back only a wee bit it was quite amazing.
As we sat in the jury box at the end of the trial and the verdict was read, there was a palpable heaviness in the jury box. As we walked outside it was very quiet...one of the other jurors came up from behind and said something to the effect: "that was something, wasn't it?" I said: "Yea, it was. I feel like crying." He said: "me, too."
And the truth is I've felt that way all day. My heart has felt heavy and I've felt like crying.
It reminds me that we never, ever know when we are going to be dipped so acutely into the depths of what it can mean to be alive.