Love At First Sight

Guilty...

Today, we the jury found the defendant guilty on two different counts. It was, among other things, a fascinating process. and a beauty-full one, too. I don't know if this is normal or not as I've never served on jury duty before, but every single juror wanted to make sure that we were really considering the defendant innocent until proven guilty and not vice versa...
Even though the guy was acting inappropriately in the court room, was arrogant and disrespectful...that he still got a fair trial.  And the other thing I really appreciated was the respect-full manner in which we approached one another...making sure NOT to strong-arm anyone into anything that was not congruent with their own sense of integrity. Really, if I step back only a wee bit it was quite amazing.
As we sat in the jury box at the end of the trial and the verdict was read, there was a palpable heaviness in the jury box. As we walked outside it was very quiet...one of the other jurors came up from behind and said something to the effect: "that was something, wasn't it?" I said: "Yea, it was. I feel like crying." He said: "me, too."
And the truth is I've felt that way all day. My heart has felt heavy and I've felt like crying.
It reminds me that we never, ever know when we are going to be dipped so acutely into the depths of what it can mean to be alive.

Jury duty as a spiritual path

I am completely serious. The judge has consistently asked us to keep an open mind. So, that has required me at least, to not pursue any stories even if That story seems possible or probable. It also means un- knowing each person in that court room... Not pre-judging, not speculating, not stereotyping… Not even believing or disbelieving based on the persons profession or appearance or… But simply staying open to what is presented. It is quite a workout. And the more open my mind, The more compassionate I feel towards each individual in that court room...

And the more My heart is open I find the roles that people are playing So much that...only a role.

I'm glad to be having this experience as I am learning so much.

Jury duty

During the jury selection process we were asked if we'd had any positive or negative encounters with law enforcement, the courts, etc.

Now this is embarrassing to admit but I couldn't exactly remember what my real life experience was as opposed to all the episodes I'd watched of The Good Wife.

No joke...

I'm still not altogether sure but regardless i decided I could, for the most part, be impartial!!!

Psychic Heart?

About five or so weeks ago I e-mailed one of my closest high school friends and asked her to let me know if and when it appeared that her mom might be getting ready to die. I wanted to know because I love her mom so very dearly and if possible, would like to be able to say goodbye. My friend wrote back and told me she'd be happy to tell me when that time came.
So, last night I was cutting out hearts from some paper I'd made and without intending to, was thinking very much about D, my friends mom. I wanted to put a bunch in an envelope to send her. This morning I received an e-mail from my friend telling me that D isn't doing so well...
and it reminded me that we, most all of us, are so much more attuned to subtle energies than we even know...and it made me wonder how much and how often we are responding to those energies without knowing we are doing so. Makes for a much more complex existence...

Perspective

I spent time today teaching a middle aged fella how to use his work e-mail account. There was something so sweet about it...maybe the unguarded way he showed up and his willingness to really not know anything. He took lots of notes and was able to navigate very well. While he was looking at his e-mails learning some of the details, he turned and asked me: "so, is this what people do...spend lots of time in front of this?"

I said yes. He responded: "that's weird!!"

Slow 'er down...

Yesterday's commute traffic was minimal!

Neighbor!

Have YOU neutralized your mother?!

I go to a health care practitioner who uses a machine to neutralize energies, patterns, etc. So, the other Day she asked me if I had neutralized my mom?

For some reason that got me so, so tickled...it appeared as if she hadn't had that particular response before. After a little bit of her being baffled she cut loose with some good yuks her own self. Not sure if I neutralized my mom or not but we had fun!!!

Catchin' Some Air...Yee haw!

Mornin', Datura

The human heart...

Yesterday I was visiting with the clerk at the hardware store. When I asked her how she was she said she was having a bit of a rough morning because She just had found out that her brother very suddenly and unexpectedly passed away that morning. And I found it so striking that here she was with her heart just devastated having to hold it together and work. And how crazy is that? It reminded me again of how terribly off we are as a culture... You know, this separation that we are asked to live in our day-to-day world... a separation that is culturally condoned and encouraged and what that does to our souls and...

And I'm sure she had no idea that she stayed with me all day long very close to my heart... And even still today she is there.

Shopping for.........Bo!!!!!!!

Beyond tacky

Some good friends of mine recently buried their mother. At the conclusion of the service right there at the cemetery, the funeral director walked up to the son and handed him the bill...

To me it is a deeply sad reflection of how we deal with death in our culture.

Siri

Those of us with I phones (or as my friend likes to call them, smarty pants phones!) have a good friend named Siri, the go to voice on our phones. She's available 24/7 and is a great listener, is completely committed to her job (doesn't come to work drunk or stoned) doesn't insert herself into yer life without you asking and isn't overly emotional like some women can be. The thing is Siri is not culturally sensitive. I wished my Jewish friend happy new year which in Hebrew is La shana tova... But if you say that to Siri she hears it as Lashawna Tova... Which is close enough just to be very, very funny. Oh, that's the other thing about Siri and why she can't be my girlfriend cuz she never laughs, poor thing.

95, really?

Whomever of us makes it to 95 I hope we are looking as good as this!!!

Shower Mate!

One of the top 5 losses when I moved from my old place was leaving the bathroom. It had a great tub with a view of the oak forest behind my cabin. And, you could sit on the toilet and if the window was open you could pick an apple or a rose geranium.

But now, I shower outside and I LOVE it, especially at night. I can look up and see the stars or fog and look out to see trees very close so I feel sheltered. And very often I find one of these critters, a banana slug IN the shower!!! I remove them though cuz I imagine that even though they like moisture they probably wouldn't appreciate being the receipiant of a deluge of very hot water.

Midwestern Humor!

not sure i actually "get it" but it still got me tickled!
it's so "hick."

embarrassing to admit but...
i been cow tippin' my own self when i was a youth.
however i was a little too tipsy to remember it.

As the World Turns

I was joking with my mom that the retirement community where she and my dad live is much like a soap opera. I find it hilarious. Check out this story:

My mom (78) has been walking in the mornings with a 90 year old fellar I will call D.
While we were visiting my mom told us that they had the following conversation that morning:

D: "i can't walk with you anymore."

M: "why not?"

D: "i don't want to upset your husband."

M: "oh, he doesn't care that we are walking together."

D: "well, i like you."

authors interjection!!!
my mom, being a little wifty headed does NOT understand what D is trying to tell her and responds:

M: "well, D, i like you, too"

D: "people are going to talk about us if they see that we are walking together."

authors interjection again!
my mom, still not understanding the point D is trying to make albeit indirectly says:

M: "oh, D, we walk on a very busy street and no one is going to notice."
(he meant the people in their community!)

needless to say they didn't walk together that morning!

A couple days later D shows up late at breakfast and says to my mom:

D: "I'm not coming early to breakfast anymore."

M: "why not?"

D: "because J (his good buddy) is talking about us."

So, my mother takes things into her own hands, turns around and marches up to J and directly asks him if he's got an opinion about them walking together!!! He does not but it still doesn't occur to my mom that D is having a whole other experience of their relationship and just can't bring himself to say so.
And so it goes. I'm sure that soon enough I will be getting an update.
My sister and I did, however, tease mom about liking older men and sang her the childrens' song: mom and D sitting in a tree...which she found mildly amusing!