"Never underestimate the power of doing nothing."

 -Winnie the Pooh

For fast acting relief from stress - try ...s l o w i n g ...down.  -Lily Tomlin

PPP's

Considering a new career?

How bout being a porta potty painter?

Wouldn't it be fun if all those nasty looking (and smelling) porta potties had cool and beauty-full art on them both inside and out?

I'm thinkin' niche market right there!

So Long, Swami

Well, tomorrow Swami G goes to another new, possibly temporary, home.

I am so incredibly grateful we got to be in each others lives this last 6 months. He's an amazing light: radiant, loving and warm. While I will miss his Presence very, very much, I like knowing there will be others with whom he will share his beauty-full Self...and that they, too, will be blessed. I anticipate that the overnight change of worlds will be hard for him...perhaps heart breaking. How can a one year old grok anything like that? And I also know that in his short little life he's had some very hard things happen and that he came through those experiences still radiating love and joy. While it will be difficult for him in some ways, I trust his resilience will help him thrive.

Say a prayer for the little butterball if you would.

Puppy Pile!

This is a happy story. The mama to these chubsters is named Jasmine. She was in a shelter about to be euthanized when, at the 11th hour, someone saved her. She's being fostered in an excellent home...the one in which she gave birth to 6 puppies. The almost 4 week old pups are all thriving. I went to visit today to help with one of their feedings. Their mama is kinda petite and can't quite keep up with their big appetites so they are receiving supplemental food about 3 times per day. It was so sweet to hold them and try to get them to slurp up some of their food. It's kinda a messy endeavor! And then to watch them pass out one by one in a pile...well you know what that does to a person!!!

"I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining."

"See, the human mind is kind of like . . .

a piñata. When it breaks open, there’s a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience."*

* From The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe by Jane Wagner. Reprinted with permission.

Normal?

Probably most of us think of our lives as fairly normal, no?
Well, the other evening I was taking a shower and perched just at eye level on the top of the shower stall facing me was a banana slug. As I've written, I have a BS infatuation going on so when I saw it I immediately smiled and started talking to her. Now I may have been making this up but I swear she was responding to me. No joke. Like she was listening or something...I kept up my end of the conversation with words but she kept hers up in BS language which I am new to learning! Anyways, I kept splashing water on her and she seemed to like that and even turned her body as if to say; "this spot...get this spot." I know, I know!
Then today as I was thinking about how normal that seemed to me I started laughing at what a relative term that is.

Cake Recipe!

I'd e-mailed my friend asking him what kind of cake he was making for an event yesterday and this is what he wrote:

"Poppyseed Cake- vegan, non-bacon, non-gluten, non-sugar, non-joy, non-life."

Covered CA, My Booty

I had the great good fortune of going to an enrollment counselor today to help me sign up for health insurance. I'd started the process online but at a certain juncture was SO frustrated I was ready to throw my computer out the flipping window. If ya gotta do shit like that they oughta make it easy. Anyways, this young woman who was helping me was so much fun. Partway through my sister cut in line and joined us and we just laughed our way through the process. We found out that she (the enrollment counselor) really likes Chocolate so I left and came back to give her some I was SOOO grateful.

As we were wrapping up she told us she works full time for Healthcorp (similar to Peacecorps) and doesn't even make enough money to have any kind of insurance but Medicare. How ironic is that?

Snowing Petals

It's hard to capture the effect of this little vignette right outside my door but this will give you some sense...the wind and rain blown blossoms of the weeping cherry tree drizzled all around making it look like pale pink snow! It kinda has an other worldly effect...like the fairies just twinkled through and poofed some magic all about.

Snail mail

Last week I received a hand written letter in the mail! These days that is a welcomed gift and one of my favorite things. I had written an e-mail to a friend and instead of e-mailing me back, he "put pen to paper" as he said. So, this weekend I wrote him back and when I did I was reminded of how much I love to write letters. Not only do I really enjoy the actual activity of writing...the tactile experience of pen to paper, the slow, deliberate activity of my brain but I also enjoy imagining my friend sitting down, likely outside with a cup of tea, and reading his letter. I enjoy the thought because he, too, is a slow moving critter and it will suit him to spend the time reading a hand written letter and reflecting. I am looking forward to writing another letter this weekend to a different friend, another someone I know who will love sitting down with a cup of tea to read a hand written letter.

My dad and I used to write each other letters. It was during a time in our relationship when, without saying so, we were trying to better understand one another. I treasure those letters now and know they will bring me great comfort once he has passed.

Poison Oak Away!

One bad case of human poison oak justifies any number of feline baths to wash it off the furz! He'll forgive me once he's lookin' good again. Plus, now I will let him back under the covers for snuggles...and crack crunchies aside, that may be one of his favorite things snuggle man that he is.

Despite his fervent pawing at the covers to be let under, there have been many nights lately when he resigned himself to laying on the pillow as close as possible to my head!

An Ode To Daydreaming

...Creative types know, despite what their third-grade teachers may have said, that daydreaming is anything but a waste of time. According to Kaufman and psychologist Rebecca L. McMillan, who co-authored a paper titled "Ode To Positive Constructive Daydreaming," mind-wandering can aid in the process of "creative incubation." And of course, many of us know from experience that our best ideas come seemingly out of the blue when our minds are elsewhere. Although daydreaming may seem mindless, a 2012 study suggested it could actually involve a highly engaged brain state -- daydreaming can lead to sudden connections and insights because it's related to our ability to recall information in the face of distractions. Neuroscientists have also found that daydreaming involves the same brain processes associated with imagination and creativity. - See more at: http://m.dailygood.org/story/679/18-things-highly-creative-people-do-differently-carolyn-gregoire/#sthash.q3KDeLJ0.dpuf...

Excerpted from an article on creativity by Carolyn Gregoire

 She was someone who could not be rushed.  That seems like a small thing.  But, it is actually a very ancient one. 

-Alice Walker

Flower Beauty

Double click on this and...wowza, there's a whole world inside the flower. This, a common geranium, becomes a work of art and beauty when one stops to really look. To me it is spectacular.  I'm kinda jealous of the bees and hummers and butterflies that get to hang out with the flower friends like they do.

Liza: The Next Chapter

Yesterday I took my cat, Liza, to be cremated. She had been stored in my sisters freezer for almost exactly 10 months! During that time my sister had an 18 year old woman house sitting for her. She'd forgotten to tell the gal there was a dead cat in the freezer...so, when said cat was discovered by said shocked 18 year old my sister got a phone call! At that point my sister had to fess up that there might also be some dead frozen birds in there as well!!!
Anyways, the decision to take Liza in yesterday afternoon was strictly a logistical one. I was at my sisters and heading in the direction of the vet...a combo that had been hard to orchestrate given where I now live. Liza was covered with a towel inside a plastic tray. I hadn't seen her except once briefly soon after she passed. I put her in the car, began to drive away and while doing so lifted the towel...
Oh my. I put my hand on that little black furry body that I know so well...and miss so much...and just cried. It's amazing how much memory is stored in touch...
I cried a good part of the way to the vet office...even considered taking her home for the night...but that would have been too hard in some way. So, I took her in. The vet tech who had come to my house with the vet to euthanize Liza was there. I felt blessed at the time it happened that they both were so compassionate, kind and heart-full. And the vet tech was all those things again yesterday. We, along with a second tech, had a great conversation about the grieving process...how it's different for each of us and what we need each time, depending on the particular relationship, can change. One spoke of sleeping with her pet's ashes for a few nights after bringing them home. The other joked about how many boxes of ashes she has at home and how she's told her parents that if she dies before them she wants her ashes to be spread together along with her animal companions. I very much get it...the tenderness of losing our Beloveds. My day was absolutely made richer by the exchanges with both women and it softened my experience of grief.
I cut some of Liza's fur yesterday. I brought it home and let Simon smell it. It was very interesting to watch him as he took a long time to be with it. And it didn't occur to me until just this moment of writing that he actually seemed a little "off" today and that possibly he was having his own process regarding Liza? Being the big hearted guy he is it wouldn't surprise me.

Reminding Us All

“There's no question about the reality of evil, of injustice, of suffering, but at the center of this existence is a heart beating with love. You and I and all of us are incredible. I mean, we really are remarkable things. That we are, as a matter of fact, made for goodness."

Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Dahlia Pimp!

Tomorrow I get to go pick up hundreds of dahlia tubers! A local business was thinning theirs out and instead of just throwing them away (fur realz...they were going to) a friend called and asked me if I wanted them. That's pretty much a no brainer as dahlias are my new favorite flower. Unfortunately I don't have a garden my own self but I know lots of friends who are oh so happy to give them a home. I'm sure I'll get visitation privileges which is fun to think about...I can make up my own dahlia garden tour. Oh happy day!

Done Been Sheared!

I went to my regular hair cutter gal last weekend. More often than not I like my cuts from her. But, while she was cutting we got to talking about a really charged topic for she and her family! I noticed the scissors snipping uber fast and hair flying and had a moment of "uh oh" but there wasn't anything I could do at that point. My longer than I had wanted cut hairs were already laying listless on the floor! Well, that's why the good lord made hats, right? And hair grows back, eventually! Directly after my haircut I went to see a couple friends who said in a little too high of a tone: "oh, your hair is really cute!!!" 

Great.

Welcome to My Porch!

So Much Love

As my dad slowly,slowly ooches towards the other side, his essence shines vividly...so beauty-full it makes me weep.

For some reason I googled whether it's legal or not to kill a bobcat. Shit. I shouldn't have done that.
I went to a site where there was a q and a forum with what sounded like a group of hunters and killers...important distinction right there. Anyways, they were talking about baiting bobcats with turkey calls...and all the ways around getting away with killing bobcats...and the tone in which they talk about the animals...I really am not against hunting for food. I'm not sure I could actually do that myself but I'm ok if it's done "humanely." But, the way these folks were talking about killing just because they could...just broke my heart. Sometimes I really dislike being a human.

Bubble Landia

I'm pretty sure I've written about the changes I've witnessed over the last 23 years living where I do. In case not...the closest sizable town to where I live is called Sebastopol. I used to think of it as a mid sized small town, charming in the way that small towns can be. However, like many places all over the world, it got "found" and has become a trendy, quasi up-scale collection of urbanish feeling younger peeps with "alternative" everythings!!! I don't much care for it and anymore kinda feel like a stranger there. So, the other day I was in the drugstore and saw an elderly guy looking at reading glasses. Instantly, without conscious thought, my body softened and my heart gladdened. I watched him for awhile as he figured out what he wanted and then slowly ambled off to find the next thing on his list. The experience stood out to me because anymore it is unusual to see elderly, less "well" people around town...and how being amidst that particular population helps me to feel at home wherever I live.

Nap Time On the Deck!

I was inclined to bring the fox milk and cookies for her nappy. She looked so sweet laying on the blanket. Kinda wish'd I could have curled up next to her!

Snugget=snuggle+nugget=my boy!

The Swami

"If I pull my lip back can you see my new teefs?"

"Though I love my hand maiden dearly, she's not so good at getting all the food actually IN my mouth."

One of the main highlights of my life these days is getting home from work and hanging out with The Swami.

He has just started eating Cheerios (health food ones, of course!) and prefers to shove several in at one time...more go on the floor than in his mouth but it makes it convenient for his hand to already be close to his mouth so he can then give himself gum massages.

Just another beauty-full eve by the big pond. 

Too Fast?

I'm reading a book called:

In Praise of Slowness; Challenging the Cult of Speed that a friend sent me in the mail as a sue-prize. I'm just a few pages into it and already loving it. I wanted to share a few snippets.

"... The electronic media is dominated by what one French sociologist dubbed 'le fast thinker'- a person who can, without skipping a beat, summon up a glib answer  to any question."

"Our impatience is so implacable that, as actress-author Carrie Fisher quipped, even "instant gratification" takes too long."

Carlo Petrini, founder of the Slow Food Movement, says:

"Being slow means that you control the rhythms of your own life. You decide how fast you have to go in any given context. If today I want to go fast, I go fast; if tomorrow I want to go slow, I go slow. What we are fighting for is the right to determine our own tempos."

There are four words you'd hope never to experience in the same sentence:

Poison oak and hot flashes!!!

Love Thy Neighbor?

Holy Smokes...
I live in a quasi remote location in the northern CA hills. It's remoteness lends itself to some version of a wild west mentality. People don't abide by "normal" laws. The property was also once home to a commune back in the 60's. So, that also lends itself to drawing "outlaw" kind of characters. The property itself is mostly still wild with the exception of the maybe 15 dwellings (might be a stretch to call some of them houses!) Anyways, given that the property itself and the surrounding area is still relatively undeveloped,  there are wild critters in close proximity. If you know me or read my blog then you already know how I feel about animals...
A few months ago my land mate told me that our neighbor shot and killed a bobcat. My heart broke upon hearing that news. For me it's one thing to kill an animal if you are going to eat it. But this bobcat got killed because it killed this guys chicken. Again, to my way of thinking if you are going to keep chickens (there are also some sheep) out here where there are wild predators then it is incumbent upon you to secure those chickens or sheep. End of story. Yesterday I ran into this fellow walking down our road with a rifle slung over his shoulder. He, another neighbor and I were having a "conversation" of sorts. He mentioned that he had been out to kill another bobcat but had been foiled when someone drove up and scared it off. I said to him: "doesn't another bobcat just move into the dead bobcat's territory?" He replied: "yeah, but you get about a two month period in between." There isn't too much logic in that thinking process. I think it's not about bobcats and chickens but rather about there always being some sort of "other" that's perceived as an adversary or enemy. And how does that way of thinking ever change? I absolutely do not know. I'm aware of my mind making him the "other" so perhaps it's just a continuum.  That said, my heart still breaks when there is seemingly senseless killing.

No Nudies!

One of the activities the oldster that I care give for and I share is Painting. Yesterday we were looking through possible painting subjects and there were some nudes. She responded to those by saying: "I have nothing against nudes except I'm just not in the mood to paint them."

Cracked me up. Maybe you had to be there.

Ouch

Unfortunately, one of the byproducts of my mom's brain deterioration is that it can cause her to be very harsh and bossy/controlling with others. There's a woman my folks eat breakfast with each morning who, for whatever reason, brings out the worst of my mom's behavior. Apparently, whatever happened this morning between mom and this woman wasn't pretty...and the woman said to my dad:

"I don't know how you stand that woman." My dad replied: "that's my wife."

Wow, what a way to start the day.

Wow'd

Today I saw the mama of a new born baby tuck her cell phone into a pocket so that the phone was actually resting against her child...

I know many people don't believe there are any "bad" effects from our cell phones. However for years we were told there were no ill effects from second hand smoke, either. 

I wish more of us understood the concept that invisible doesn't mean harmless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


On another topic of "exposure"...

I also wish people understood the impact of cologne, perfume, laundry detergent, dryer sheets, body products, etc and the effect that has not only on their own immune system but also on others. I recently re-found this pamphlet:

I made a number of copies and I am leaving them in public spaces. Of course I can't ever know who will find them or if they will even be read. But, even if just one more person on the planet understands it then yay...a little bit less exposure for those of us that experience the harmful impact of such products.

You Need Husband!

After about 10 minutes into a conversation this morning, my Somali shuttle driver decided I needed a husband (him) and kids (his)!!!

When he was dropping me at the airport he said: "you need husband, you call!!"

It was a great way to start my day.

Tool of My Dad's Trade

Door Art?

Upon returning to her apartment and finding her door locked, my mom decided to just leave her "laundry" on the doorknob. I'm sure it provided some "conversation" material at Camp Forum!!!

Note To Self!

Daikon radish isn't good airplane food as it smells like dirty socks and makes seat mates wonder who keeps farting?!!!

Moving Into Spring

Trippy Art

... made with fingers only!

http://www.thisismarvelous.com/i/79-Fingerings-by-Judith-Braun-Remarkable-Drawings-Created-With-Nothing-But-Fingers-Dipped-in-Charcoal

She's Back!

Late this morning I was just finishing a project on the deck when I looked up and saw you know who about 10 ft away! Once she saw her deck had been hijacked she turned and walked away glancing back once as she went. About an hour later I looked out at the deck, noticed a dark shape and movement.

Sure enough, fox was back and assuming her napping position which is where she is right this very minute. Seems like she feels a certain degree of safety to be sleeping out in the open in the middle of the day. 

My human neighbor and I wondered if she might be pregnant...

Geez, if there end up being fox kits tumbling around here I'll never leave!

Once Upon A Fox

Yesterday I made myself almost late to an event because as I was getting ready to leave I noticed our fox neighbor napping on our deck! I had to just watch her for awhile...as she got up, scratched a few fleas then repositioned herself more comfortably against a wooden chair. As much as I was looking forward to and was excited about the event I was going to, I could just have happily stayed home with the fox.

This afternoon as I was returning home I got a phone call from my land mate telling me that the fox (presumably the same one?) was napping on a chaise lounge on the deck. Sure enough, there she was sawin' logs while laying on a blanket my neighbor had put on the lounger for herself earlier in the day!

She must have napped for a good 3 hours. As it was getting almost dark I sat outside "with" her. Finally, she got up, stretched and then I lost sight of her. I just rested my head on my knees with my eyes closed and listened. Not very long later I felt an energetic shift and when I lifted my head she was about 10 ft away drinking some water. Then she sauntered down the path and headed out the driveway. A couple minutes later I heard her bark...maybe she was looking for her family, maybe for dinner, maybe announcing the end of the day. In any case, I sure look forward to the possibility of seeing her again tomorrow.

Heart Accident!

This was the shape left after I spooned some rice out of the pan.

Thoreau On "Work"

"For many years I was self-appointed inspector of snow-storms and rain-storms, and did my duty faithfully."

An Interesting Book

Maybe some of you have already heard and/or read about Daniel Suelo?
I am reading a book written about him called; The Man Who Quit Money
It offers stimulating food for thought. At a minimum he pushes us to consider life WAAAAAY outside the box. He might even be revered in a different culture.

Check out how he speaks of his vocation:
"I'm employed by the universe. Since everywhere I go is the universe, I am always secure. Life has flourished for billions of years like this. I never knew such security before I gave up money. Wealth is what we are dependent on for security. My wealth never leaves me. Do you think Bill Gates is more secure than I?"

Elvis

A very dear senior fellah seemingly content to take it slower these days, Elvis transforms into a "race around like a maniac" puppy when given a tennis ball!

Smelly Good

A friend gave me a big ol bag of raw wool. I transferred it into burlap bags that had been used to store coffee beans.

So now my car smells like coffee beans and lanolin. Aromatherapy on wheels!

Under Consideration

One of the gifts of living in a "first/developed" world is that we often get to have lots of choices about things. One of those is our health. When confronted with an "illness" some of us get to think about what methods of healing we might employ and not just rely on western medicine as the one and only means of addressing health concerns. (that is IF we have the money to pursue "alternatives," of course.) Nevertheless, there is a "cultural norm" if you will that is deeply embedded in western medicine and also in some complimentary modalities as well. Often, something is made an enemy...cancer cells, bacteria, viruses, fungi, etc. And more often than not the treatment is to destroy the enemy. While I'm not suggesting that is wrong, I get really curious about other ways these matters could be approached. So, with that wondering in mind I got out a box of some of my essences to review how they work. I'm sharing them below. The word bacterial can be swapped out and replaced with viral or fungal. See what happens for you when you read these.
 
B-1: Restore the body's environment to balance when its imbalance is creating a corresponding bacterial imbalance. They also restore the body's environment to balance once a corresponding bacterial imbalance is present and impacting the body.

B-2: Restore a state of appropriate balance within the living bacterial organisms so that they may once again relate to and interact with their larger host organism (body) in an appropriately balanced and environmentally sound manner.

Foxy!

My friend and neighbor just down the road sent me these photos of some other neighbors!

Robbed

After finding two pieces of jewelry she was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN had been stolen, my mom had to call both the police and her insurance company to let them know.

When I spoke with her today I genuinely asked her what she wanted me to do the next time she calls to tell me that she's temporarily lost something but believes it has been stolen. She replied: "just laugh!!!"

Vicious Rumor!

A collective sigh of relief was heard when it became known that Ellen and Portia were purchasing
a $40 million dollar home together...instead of the news that they were breaking up.
Phew.

The Very Cute Tick Barer!

       

              Meet Huckleberry!

Hermie

A lifetime ago when I was working with an environmental education program, we used to sing a rowdy song around the campfire at night devoted to the banana slug. We even had a banana slug club where kids could become a member if they kissed one (yup, true story!) All that time I had an appreciation for them but never really LoVED them. But within the last few months something shifted and I feel a genuine tenderness and affection towards them. I was noticing their absence in the drought and wondered often about their well being. We had  heavy rains over the weekend and I immediately noticed the slugs pop back into view. I wasn't sure where they'd gone during the dry spell but was really happy and relieved to see their little green bodies again. Then today I'd gone inside a building whose doors had been open a couple hours and noticed a slug all shortened into itself on the floor. I immediately and carefully picked it up and set it outside in a more suitable area. At first, I thought it had already perished but I decided to wait awhile and see if it moved. Finally, I saw one antennae and then the other very slowly start to extend out and my heart was so happy. I watched for another minute or so just because its sweetness captured my attention and then finally walked away sincerely grateful to have crossed its path.

Old Fashioned Activity!

With such heavy storms this weekend I wasn't able to get a signal for either my cell phone or hot spot very much so...

I read an entire book from start to finish!

Rainy Day Activity!

Almost Invisible!

This photo cracks me up. Simon, whose tail you see sticking out, and I were visiting our neighbors the other day.

Simon had been chased one too many times by the Swami so he decided to quietly slink behind the curtains to hide himself and thus be out of harms way...only he didn't realize his tail was still visible!!! I got to watch the whole thing happen and it was so darn funny. As luck would have it, the Swami didn't find Simon in his top secret location!!! 

Both Ends of the Continuim

When my almost 9 month old swami friend was falling asleep as he drained his bottle I thought what a natural experience that was...and then had the thought that perhaps if all of us had more warm bottles AND naps, there might be a little less tension in the world!

Not Guilty?

"Well your Honor, I had been peacefully napping when all of a sudden I heard a loud racket coming from the other room. I immediately ran in to see what had happened and that's when I saw...well, I saw my brother, Chico, standing over the lifeless, torn apart body of...of....of...

(Dixie whimpers and puts her paw over her eyes as if trying not to see)

Curious George. I was too late, George was already gone. So, I gathered up all his white, fluffy parts and put them mostly back in the right place. Then I sent Chico outside and stood guard over George until our people came home. Yea, that's what happened."

Ponderation...

" THE BEGINNING IS NEAR " and the unknown is more vivid than ever! " 

 Yrron

S L O W!!!

I was chatting with a dear old friend tonight and somehow we hit the topic of being a slow person...swapping stories of our experience as a slow mover in an increasingly fast paced world. We both were saying it was so great to know someone else that experienced the world very similarly. She was telling me that one of her favorite critters as a kid was a snail!!!
She was also sharing that when people tell her to hurry up, which they have done her entire life, she actually has to go slower. She said: "If I go any faster than my top speed, I wobble...literally!!!"
I fell out on that one. She is my number one candidate for being a board member of The Slower Life Movement, for sure...and will be receiving a Slower Life Movement t-shirt with "Born Slow" on the back!

This is my friend, Juno, all wrapped up snugly after a walk in the rain. She's a sweet potato pie!

It's Good To Get Perspective!

In my first conversation this morning with a friend she was talking about the possibility that planet Earth is simply a compost pile for some other planet!!! That just got me so tickled. Easy enough for me to imagine that...and I also really appreciate how it engages my mind to think much, much bigger and not be so Earthcentric.

A Reminder From a Thought-full Friend

>And what did you do on earth?< I descended daily into the hush – if only for a moment, but sometimes for blessed hours at a time. I followed the shimmering threads which lured me into the night, full of wonder at all that was unfolding. I opened myself wide to gratitude, to the delight that there was anything at all, much less pink-petaled peonies and generous handfuls of red berries, the incredible sweetness of things, or the way dawn and dusk could reveal my own new thresholds, how a walk by the sea can change everything, and that I could be so well loved, and love in return, that I could dance on earth’s forest floor and say “yes” to life from the belly of sorrow. >And what was the best of it?< I was saved by beauty again and again, the golden glimmer of sunlight across wet pavement revealing a luminous world, and the stone ruins of churches and monasteries, with their arches of ancient longing holding ten thousand prayers, ten thousand paths to hope. >And what would you have changed?< Only perhaps to have worried less about what might come, which never did in exactly the way I imagined. And to spend less time in front of screens, offering more of myself to the elements of wind and rain and mud, to roll with playful abandon in the wet grass, the way dogs do. >And what will you do now?< I will reach across the veil and whisper the word “remember” to anyone who will listen.

"Remember" by Christine Valters Paintner

Feral-ish!

This handsome fellow lives outside in downtown Occidental, CA. amongst a colony of his peers. Much to their credit they have convinced of covey of human admirer's to feed them daily and look after their general well being. One of the retail store owners near the colony puts out food for his neighbors but he says there are only a few brave enough to come up on his porch and eat. This tuxedo guy is one. He will even let the human pick him up on occasion and brush him. Mostly though, it seems 

Tux prefers that other humans ogle over his handsomeness from a distance!!! 

Bed Head!!!

I went to bed last night with my hair wet, worked on it all night long and this is the result!!! There's a lot of action goin' on up there...surprised I could sleep at all!

As I was driving to work this morning these little friends were in the road on their way to somewhere…

Speaking of wool...

A few months ago I brought home some wool batting for a project. I walked in the door and set it on my bed. Simon, my cat friend, jumped up on the bed and started to sniff it… Next thing I knew he had buried himself as far as possible into the batting and fallen asleep. Some time later he hurled himself out of there in what seemed like a big fat hurry and I realized he was too hot! But, it made me realize that he really enjoyed the wool. I also had some raw wool which I brought out to see if he liked as well and he did! So, I took a big bunch of the raw wool and stuffed it into his favorite bed which is one of my old Cashmere sweaters. He was in cat bed heaven! He sleeps on it a lot. When I go to bed at night he is often sleeping on the wool/cashmere bed right next to the heater. And then, sometime in the middle of the night when he crawls under the covers with me all I smell is warm lanolin...sweeeeeeet!

This is Fuzzle who just plunks directly onto her pile of wool and goes in cognito!

Fox Friendly

I been seeing so many foxes these last few months...you know how it is when you "need" a particular animals' medicine? They just tend to repeatedly show up.

There were two evenings in a row when I saw fox kits in my headlights driving home. Then this afternoon I was walking up my driveway and out from behind my car came a fox...No more than maybe 12 or so feet away. I swear, it looked like it had been sleeping! My heart was so, so glad...I just kept saying to it: "I am so happy to see you." We looked at each other for a bit then it turned and took a couple steps away then faced me again. Then repeated the same thing. Finally, it turned and trotted away. Another very lucky moment.

Gift of The Day

I had the greatest good fortune of spending the evening with my nine month old swami G friend.

There were so many highlights...but one, in particular, was when I was laying on my back and he was laying on his back on my abdomen and chest with his little arm on my neck...just laying and breathing together. He was kinda dozing while I was busy appreciating the very simple beauty and tenderness of the moment...the trust that naturally and effortlessly gets extended that he will be held and cared for...oh, it just slays me.

Quaker Speak

Once again my friend, Stephanie, had an interesting tidbit on her blog from Parker Palmer, whom I very much admire:

The Clearness Committee
A Communal Approach To Discernment
From A Hidden Wholeness
by Parker J. Palmer 
Many of us face a dilemma when trying to deal with a personal problem, question, or decision. On the one hand, we know that the issue is ours alone to resolve and that we have the inner resources to resolve it, but access to our own resources is often blocked by layers of inner “stuff”—confusion, habitual thinking, fear, despair. On the other hand, we know that friends might help us uncover our inner resources and find our way, but by exposing our problem to others, we run the risk of being invaded and overwhelmed by their assumptions, judgments, and advice—a common and alienating experience. As a result, we often privatize these vital questions in our lives: at the very moment when we need all the help we can get, we find ourselves cut off from both our inner resources and the support of a community.
For people who have experienced this dilemma, I want to describe a method invented by the Quakers, a method that protects individual identity and integrity while drawing on the wisdom of other people. It is called a “Clearness Committee.” If that name sounds like it is from the sixties, it is—the 1660’s! From their beginnings over three hundred years ago, Quakers needed a way to draw on both inner and communal resources to deal with personal problems because they had no clerical leaders to “solve” their problems for them. The Clearness Committee is testimony to the fact that there are no external authorities on life’s deepest issues, not clergy or therapists or scholars; there is only the authority that lies within each of us waiting to be heard.
Behind the Clearness Committee is a simple but crucial conviction: each of us has an inner teacher, a voice of truth, that offers the guidance and power we need to deal with our problems. But that inner voice is often garbled by various kinds of inward and outward interference. The function of the Clearness Committee is not to give advice or “fix” people from the outside in but rather to help people remove the interference so that they can discover their own wisdom from the inside out. If we do not believe in the reality of inner wisdom, the Clearness Committee can become an opportunity for manipulation. But if we respect the power of the inner teacher, the Clearness Committee can be a remarkable way to help someone name and claim his or her deepest truth 
The Clearness Committee’s work is guided by some simple but crucial rules and understandings. Among them, of course, is the rule that the process is confidential. When it is over, committee members will not speak with others about what was said and, equally important, will not speak with the focus person about the problem unless he or she requests a conversation.
Guidelines for facilitating Clearness Committees at retreats:
Facilitators assign members to committees. But before doing so, ask each focus person for a confidential list of any persons he or she especially wants to work with or feels unable to work with. Promise focus persons they will be given as many names from the first list as possible, and none from the second list. 
At a retreat, focus persons are asked to reflect on the following three areas:
•    a concise statement of his or her problem, even if it is not clear—this process can work as well with murky issues as with clear ones;
•    a recounting of relevant background factors that may bear on the problem;
•    an exploration of any hunches the focus person may have about what’s on the horizon regarding the problem.
This is done so that the focus person can present their problem orally to the committee at the start of the session in a concise but helpful way, ten or fifteen minutes maximum. 
Clearness Committees last two hours. A detailed schedule is provided to all committee members before the process begins. When fifteen, and then five minutes remain, someone on the committee needs to notify the others, for reasons explained in note 9 below. Committee members for whom note-taking enhances attentiveness may take notes, turning them over to the focus person before leaving the room. This helps guarantee confidentiality and is a great gift to the focus person, helping him or her remember the questions and answers in the hours, days and months to come.
The meeting begins when the focus person breaks the silence, and gives a brief summary of the issue at hand. Then the committee members may speak—but everything they say is governed by one rule, a simple rule and yet one that most people find difficult and demanding: members are forbidden to speak to the focus person in any way except to ask honest, open questions. This means absolutely no advice and no amateur psychoanalysis. It means no, “Why don’t you…?” It means no, “That happened to me one time, and here’s what I did…” It means no, “There’s a book/therapist/exercise/diet that would help you a lot.” Nothing is allowed except real questions, honest and open questions, questions that will help the focus person remove the blocks to his or her inner truth without becoming burdened by the personal agendas of committee members.  I may think I know the answer to your problem, and on rare occasions I may be right. But my answer is absolutely no value to you. The only answer that counts is one that arises from your own inner truth. The discipline of the Clearness Committee is to give you greater access to that truth and allow you to have a personal dialogue with it—while the rest of us refrain from trying to define that truth for you or guide that dialogue.
What is an honest, open question? It is important to reflect on this, since we are so skilled at asking questions that are advice or analysis in disguise; e.g., “Have you ever thought that it might be your mother’s fault?” The best single mark of an honest, open question is that the questioner could not possibly anticipate the answer to it; e.g., “Did you ever feel like this before?” There are other guidelines for good questioning. Try not to get ahead of the focus person’s language; e.g., “What did you mean when you said ‘frustrated’?” is a good question, but “Didn’t you feel angry?” is not. Ask questions aimed at helping the focus person rather than at satisfying your curiosity. Ask questions that are brief and to the point rather than larding them with background considerations and rationale—which make the question into a speech. Ask questions that go to the person as well as the problem—for example, questions about feelings as well as about facts. Trust your intuition in asking questions, even if your instinct seems off the wall; e.g., “What color is your present job, and what color is the one you have been offered?”
Normally, the focus person responds to the questions as they are asked, in the presence of the group, and those responses generate more, and deeper, questions. Though the responses should be full, they should not be terribly long—resist the temptation to tell your life story in response to every question! It is important that there be time for more and more questions and responses, thus deepening the process for everyone. The more often a focus person is willing to answer aloud, the more material the person—and the committee—will have to work with. But this should never happen at the expense of the focus person’s need to protect vulnerable feelings or to maintain privacy. It is vital that the focus person assume total power to set the limits of the process. So everyone must understand that the focus person at all times has the right not to answer a question. The unanswered question is not necessarily lost—indeed, it may be the question that is so important that it keeps working on the focus person long after the Clearness Committee has ended. 
The Clearness Committee must not become a grilling or cross-examination. The pace of the questioning is crucial—it should be relaxed, gentle, humane. A machine-gun volley of questions makes reflection impossible and leaves the focus person feeling attacked rather than evoked. Do not be afraid of silence in the group—trust it and treasure it. If silence falls, it does not mean that nothing is happening or that the process has broken down. It may well mean that the most important thing of all is happening: new insights are emerging from within people, from their deepest sources of guidance.  
From beginning to end of the Clearness Committee, it is important that everyone work hard to remain totally attentive to the focus person and his or her needs. This means suspending the normal rules of social gathering—no chitchat, no responding to other people’s questions or to the focus person’s answers, no joking to break the tension, no noisy and nervous laughter. We are simply to surround the focus person with quiet, loving space, resisting even the temptation to comfort or reassure or encourage this person, but simply being present with our attention and our questions and our care. If a committee member damages this ambiance with advice, leading questions, or rapid-fire inquisition, other members, including the focus person, have the right to remind the offender of the rules—and the offender is not at liberty to mount a defense or argue the point. The Clearness Committee is for the sake of the focus person, and the rest of us need to get our egos to recede.
The Clearness Committee should run for the full time allotted. Don’t end early for fear that the group has “run out of questions”—patient waiting will be rewarded with deeper questions than have yet been asked. About fifteen minutes before the end of the meeting, someone should ask the focus person if he or she wants to suspend the “questions only” rule and invite committee members to mirror back what they have heard the focus person saying. If the focus person says no, the questions continue, but if he or she says yes, mirroring can begin, along with more questions if they should arise. Mirroring does not provide an excuse to give advice or fix the person—that sort of invasiveness is still prohibited. Mirroring simply means exactly what the word suggests: reflecting the focus person’s language—and body language—giving him or her a chance to say, “Yes, that’s me” or “No, that’s not,” though no response is required. In the final five minutes of the meeting, the clerk should invite members to celebrate and affirm the focus person and his or her strengths. This is an important time, since the focus person has just spent a couple of hours being very vulnerable. And there is always much to celebrate, for in the course of a Clearness Committee, people reveal the gifts and graces that characterize human beings at their deepest and best.
Remember, the Clearness Committee is not intended to fix the focus person, so there should be no sense of letdown if the focus person does not have his or her problems “solved” when the process ends. A good clearness process does not end—it keeps working within the focus person long after the meeting is over. The rest of us need simply to keep holding that person in the light, trusting the wisdom of his or her inner teacher.
The Clearness Committee is not a cure-all. It is not for extremely fragile people or for extremely delicate problems. But for the right person, with the right issue, it is a powerful way to rally the strength of community around a struggling soul, to draw deeply from the wisdom within all of us. It teaches us to abandon the pretense that we know what is best for another person and instead to ask those honest and open questions that can help that person find his or her own answers. It teaches us to give up the arrogant assumption that we are obliged to “save” each other and learn, through simple listening, to create the conditions that allow a person to find his or her wholeness within. If the spiritual discipline behind the Clearness Committee is understood and practiced, the process can become a way to renew community in our individualistic times; a way to free people from their isolation without threatening their integrity; a way to counteract the unhelpful excesses to which we sometimes take “caring;” and a way to create space for the spirit to move among us with healing and with power.
NOTE: People who wish to make significant use of the Clearness Committee process are urged to read Chapter VIII, “Living the Questions,” in Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2009). There you will find detailed, step-by-step guidance, as well as a DVD with footage of the author teaching the process to a group. The Clearness Committee is a powerful method that is both simple and demanding. Done well, it is a positive experience for everyone involved. But done poorly, it can cause hurt and even harm. So a deep understanding of its principles and practices is essential to using it responsibly. People who want an experiential immersion in the process — which is, of course, the best way to learn how it works and how to offer it to others — should peruse our retreat calendar and learn more about our programs, many of which offer the Clearness Committee experience.
xox

Formation may be the best name for what happens in a circle of trust, because the word refers, historically, to soul work done in community. But a quick disclaimer is in order, since formation sometimes means a process quite contrary to the one described in this book----a process in which the pressure of orthodox doctrine, sacred text, and institutional authority is applied to the misshapen soul in order to conform it to the shape dictated by some theology. This approach is rooted in the idea that we are born with souls deformed by sin, and our situation is hopeless until the authorities "form" us properly. But all of that is turned upside down by the principles of a circle of trust: I applaud the theologian who said that "the idea of humans being born alienated from the Creator would seem an abominable concept." Here formation flows from the belief that we are born with souls in perfect form. As time goes on, we subject to powers of deformation, from within as well as without, that twist us into shapes alien to the shape of the soul. But the soul never loses its original form and never stops calling us back to our birhtright integrity.”
Parker J. Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness: The Journey Toward an Undivided Life

Nuts

I'm reading this book called Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous wisdom, Scientific knowledge, and The Teaching of Plants. In it, she's writing about how when her people (the Pottawatomie) were displaced and ended up in Kansas, they were relieved to find a nut (which they called pigan.) It later came to be called pecan in English.

"Today we eat them daintily, shelled and toasted, but in the old times they'd boil them up in a porridge. The fat floated to the top like a chicken soup and they skimmed it and stored it as nut butter: good winter food. High in calories and vitamins -- everything you needed to sustain life. After all, that's the whole point of nuts: to provide the embryo with all that is needed to start a new life."

That's the part I never thought about…That a nut is actually an embryo.

Did you ever think that before?

Art Project

I'm almost certain I'm not the first person to think about this idea that has been percolating in my own innards...but, i thought it'd be a very fun and cool thing for any sizable construction project to have an on-site artist (kindah like an artist in residence!) Making "art" out of whatever is discarded. Having just watched a year long construction project's "waste" stream, it kept recurring in my brain and my heart that something beautiful, imaginative, funky, exciting and thought provoking could be created out of the discarded this's and that's. I know that some contractors try their best to re-home what they can and responsibly dispose of "waste," but I think the effect of the actual on-site transformation of those things could elicit a different feeling or sense of our relationship to waste. A documentary in the making, fer reelz!

Lily's Gospel

"Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past."

Lily Tomlin

Don't Be Still, My Beating Heart!

Within the last 18 months or so my actual physical heart has changed it's modus operandi! Often, it beats very fast and I can actually hear and feel it thumping in my chest. While it was pretty unnerving when it first began to happen, I think I have, for the most part, gotten used to it. Now, I have what has become a nightly ritual in regard to my heart. When I shift my position from sitting up in the bed to laying down and the rest of my house is very quiet, my heart sounds particularly loud. So, for the first few minutes before I fall asleep I just listen to my own heart beating…to my blood being circulated...and without fail, I am reminded of the miracle that is the body. Especially when there is chronic pain or discomfort, it's natural to think the body isn't working the way it's "supposed" to. And, maybe it's not. But, I've found it both fascinating and comforting to also see/hear/feel all the "little" and "simple" miracles that are happening every milisecond within the body yet are easy to overlook. When we stop for a moment and pay attention to the hundreds, if not thousands of actions that are happening as they are designed to within the body for it to achieve the simplest of movements, it becomes mind blowing... As well as an excellent reminder of just how well the body really is working in every moment.

When ceramic artist Dick Lehman traveled to Japan for an exhibition in 1999, he was astonished by his host's parting gift: four broken ceramic cups that Lehman had thrown in the trash just a few weeks earlier. Under his host’s covert care, the cups were recovered, repaired with silver, and made even more beautiful than they were before.

Kintsugi, translated as "gold joinery," is the ancient Japanese craft of mending broken pottery with gold-filled resin. Modern Kintsugi artists use a variety of materials to decorate the scars from a repair.

"In the West, we usually expect a thing to be repaired so you can't tell it's broken," says Lehman, who now incorporates Kintsugi into his own work. Using copper powder or gold leaf to mend his pieces, Lehman hopes his repairs communicate a sense of history and care. He writes, "Kintsugi artists believe when something has suffered damage and has a history, it becomes more beautiful."

Martin and His Fleurs!

Thymus Thumping

Daily TT helps support the immune system. Give it a whirl!

PTL, Sister!

My mom's BFF at Camp Forum, the daughter of a pastor, lives by this guiding principle: "if god doesn't work, try wine!"

Memory Loss...LOL!

My dad called twice this last week for two days in a row around 6:15 am. 

On the morning of the third day I called him at 7am my time. I told him I didn't have a long time to talk as I was getting ready to go to work. That gave him the opening to wonder what time it was on my end! He said lately he could not remember if it was two hours earlier or two hours later where I lived. I told him that it was two hours earlier in California and that, in fact, for the last couple mornings he had called me around 6 am. I could hear him start to laugh as he said: "oh Lord, oh Lord.!"

So, the next day I called him up and I said to him: "Dad, I just wanted you to know that it's still two hours earlier here.!"

He didn't say a word...he  just started laughing. Laughter sure softens the sometimes hard edges of things like memory loss.

For All You Lapsed Catholics!

My friend, Stephanie, had this link on her blog and I lifted it cuz It got me so tickled.                     

Electronic Rosary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O1SPXy460g 

Speaking of religion, I just rewatched: The Eyes Of Tammy Faye...such a fascinating story for so many reasons. It certainly forces the issue of paradox. It's a very messy human story, like most, yet in the end I couldn't help but feel deep compassion for Them both. It's definitely worth watching...unless you have a strong aversion to tv evangelism.

More Than Fair Trade!

In exchange for selling my farmer friends flowers for my financial profit, she wants me to take care of her dahlia garden!!!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing at first! Wait, I get to hang out with and love up on her dahlias AND sell her beauty-full flowers...somebody pinch me!

Vaca!

Yesterday, I was sitting at the ocean thoroughly enjoying everything about it...the sun, the breeze, the ocean smell, the sound of the waves crashing, the gulls. I remember thinking how lucky I was. Then I remembered something a friend says. After she gets done working she tells herself she's on vacation till whenever the next time is that she has to work! So, as I remembered that idea, I found myself relaxing even more knowing I was on vaca till the following morning!

Magnetism

After having brought some Parisian truffles to a get together the other day, my friend said to me: "you always have the yummiest chocolates."

I said: "well, some people are chick magnets and others, chocolate magnets!!!"

Tis The Season...OMG!

I know it says somewhere in the bible that thou shalt not covet thy neighbors legs...but how can you NOT covet those long, still a little wobbly legs?

What does covet mean, anyway?!

Sweetness

Another First!

Sri G in his first sink bath with his turtle buddy!!!

Little butterball of sweetness.

Pre Launch!

Simon, in one of his crazy, wound up moments before he hurls himself at a moving target! He makes me LOL!

My Newest Boyfriend, Petey!

Oh, I just want to snurggle him up!

Name The Poop!

If you can correctly identify this scat, you will win a prize!

A Kwan Story

i went into our local spiritual/religious accessories store today looking for a Kwan Yin statue. i didn't see the one i was after so i walked up to the sales fella and asked did they have a Kwan statue.
he looked at me very seriously and said: "you mean Kwan Yin?" (not without a bit of attitude) so, i said: "yea, Kwan." and then made the gesture of my index and middle finger wrapped around each other and said; "we're tight" while smiling. He did not find that even remotely amusing. it is attitudes like that which make me want to be irreverent to all things sacred. i can't help myself!!!
that's probably why i need sistah K so bad cuz i lack compassion when it comes to people like that!

Call and Response

It's not like this is anything new...
but somehow this general now of a portal feels particularly focused...asking us to continuously let go...to surrender deeply...and while the particulars of our lives may reflect that surrender it is the larger universal dynamic that is actually "forcing" us into as of yet uninhabitated realities and paradigms.. There is no set of instructions for how to navigate these times nor any words that fit it, really....
The one thing I really do get very clearly is that i, we, us are responding to the call, whether we consciously understand that or not. for me, the cognitive "understanding" helps me to get that I am actively in conversation and in relationship with the dynamics...with the Universe. 

my wish for us all is that we build and refine our listening muscles, without ears...
and that we find the courage and willingness to be led...

Camo Kwan!

I've Looked At Clouds From Both Sides Now!

Recently a friend and I were laying in a field working on our winter tans while appreciating the warm, cloudless winter day...when seemingly out of nowhere all kinda pretty clouds started showing up. This one here we decided looked like the Virgin de Guadeloupe!

So, I sent this photo to my friend who loves the Virgin like crazy. What's funny is that she was up the coast maybe 10 miles or so that day and took a photo of the exact same cloud. However, she thought it was more angelic than virginal...same diff, I guess!

Oh, The Parents

Not being a parent...I can't say for sure...but many parents seem challenged to TRULY see  who and what their children are as opposed to what they hope or want them to be. So many parents deal with this issue in one way or the other. And us kids....well, I do believe that no matter what we say or try and get ourselves to believe about what we really want...i think we need our parents to get us. We need their Blessing as i heard a preacher say recently. It can end up being quite a dance. I've certainly participated in that with my own folks.

Over the years my dad and I have really worked at our relationship. It's taken him a real long time to loosen his expectations or ideas of what my life should look like. He still doesn't all the way "get it" but he is more spacious than ever. So, during our New Year's Day phone call, I was surprised and deeply touched when he wished me an art-full new year. He gave me his Blessing. I honestly didn't know I needed it...but I did. What a true and beauty-full gift.

New Years Resolution

Today I asked my 93-year-old friend if she had made a New Year's resolution.

A little bit shyly, she told me that her New Year's wish was to die in her sleep soon.

New Year's Wish

May we all be nourished by the exquisite beauty of simplicity.