Yesterday I took my cat, Liza, to be cremated. She had been stored in my sisters freezer for almost exactly 10 months! During that time my sister had an 18 year old woman house sitting for her. She'd forgotten to tell the gal there was a dead cat in the freezer...so, when said cat was discovered by said shocked 18 year old my sister got a phone call! At that point my sister had to fess up that there might also be some dead frozen birds in there as well!!!
Anyways, the decision to take Liza in yesterday afternoon was strictly a logistical one. I was at my sisters and heading in the direction of the vet...a combo that had been hard to orchestrate given where I now live. Liza was covered with a towel inside a plastic tray. I hadn't seen her except once briefly soon after she passed. I put her in the car, began to drive away and while doing so lifted the towel...
Oh my. I put my hand on that little black furry body that I know so well...and miss so much...and just cried. It's amazing how much memory is stored in touch...
I cried a good part of the way to the vet office...even considered taking her home for the night...but that would have been too hard in some way. So, I took her in. The vet tech who had come to my house with the vet to euthanize Liza was there. I felt blessed at the time it happened that they both were so compassionate, kind and heart-full. And the vet tech was all those things again yesterday. We, along with a second tech, had a great conversation about the grieving process...how it's different for each of us and what we need each time, depending on the particular relationship, can change. One spoke of sleeping with her pet's ashes for a few nights after bringing them home. The other joked about how many boxes of ashes she has at home and how she's told her parents that if she dies before them she wants her ashes to be spread together along with her animal companions. I very much get it...the tenderness of losing our Beloveds. My day was absolutely made richer by the exchanges with both women and it softened my experience of grief.
I cut some of Liza's fur yesterday. I brought it home and let Simon smell it. It was very interesting to watch him as he took a long time to be with it. And it didn't occur to me until just this moment of writing that he actually seemed a little "off" today and that possibly he was having his own process regarding Liza? Being the big hearted guy he is it wouldn't surprise me.
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